i havent been to circus in a week.
i havent played cello for two weeks.
i havent taken good care of my body (food, sleep, routine) for more that that.
i keep on pretending that im getting better, but i'm not. that wall of fear is still ever-present.
its so frustrating! i can see the beauty, but i cant be a part of it. i cant be it. i can appreciate music and movement and a story, but
but i dont know what's stopping me. i feel... lazy. its not that i dont want it. its that i dont believe that i will get anywhere. so i'm too afraid to let myself try and see what happens anyway.
i dont feel so good. when am i going to get up?
i havent played cello for two weeks.
i havent taken good care of my body (food, sleep, routine) for more that that.
i keep on pretending that im getting better, but i'm not. that wall of fear is still ever-present.
its so frustrating! i can see the beauty, but i cant be a part of it. i cant be it. i can appreciate music and movement and a story, but
but i dont know what's stopping me. i feel... lazy. its not that i dont want it. its that i dont believe that i will get anywhere. so i'm too afraid to let myself try and see what happens anyway.
i dont feel so good. when am i going to get up?
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